"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
