I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
