You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
