so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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