My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
