Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
