Everything about him screamed your future.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
