Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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