You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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