no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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