i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
