I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
