Your mouth is God's brothel.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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