He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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