The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
