I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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