We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
