i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
