Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
do nipples grow back?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
