Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
