so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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