She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
