she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
