Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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