...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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