This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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