Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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