Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
