I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
