Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm too high and old for this...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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