Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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