I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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