Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
