why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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