It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
