we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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