need another drink. this is the easiest way
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We have started to decorate penises.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
