Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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