They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
