Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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