i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
