Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
