I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
