Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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