Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
