Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
