just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
