my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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