So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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