Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
