Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
