Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
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